


The Talk

by MirandaJ



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Robin (Comics), Teen Titans - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Batdad, Bruce Wayne Parenting, Bruce Wayne is a Good Dad, Cassandra Cain (mentioned) - Freeform, Damian has a girlfriend, Dick Grayson (mentioned) - Freeform, Embarrassment, Family Feels, Father-Son Relationship, Freeform, Gen, How Do I Tag, I Blame Tumblr, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Jason Todd (mentioned) - Freeform, Parenthood, Protective Bruce Wayne, Teenager Damian Wayne, The bees and birds talk, Tim Drake (Mentioned) - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-05 22:30:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13397622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MirandaJ/pseuds/MirandaJ
Summary: In which Bruce and Damian have that totally awkward talk and Bruce can be the most embarrassing parent to any teenager





	The Talk

To sit in front of the batcomputer and be able to hear the screeches of the bats, to feel the humidity of the air and the light breeze of the cave touch his face took him to those early times, times when it was only him and his cape in that large den embedded into Gotham’s oldest rocks. The silence and emptiness that were once enjoyable now brought him an uncomfortable peace. He turned his chair to face the training section and could easily see the image of Dick swinging through the rings and landing perfectly from his marvelous flips in the air. It wasn’t hard to capture Jason there too, but the parking lot was more of his thing all those bikes and cars that Jason could spend hours and hours working on and never get bored of. The mattresses piled up on the side of the sparring place reminded him of Cass perfectly _not killing_ the dummies and throwing them up on the pile. Touching his desk he remembered Tim working there unstoppably getting better and better over the time with these techs. The armoury was certainly Damian’s favorite all those swords and knives and the chance to show off how great he was with them. He turned back to the computer and stared at his own smile in the dark screen.

 

“They certainly grow up fast, Master Bruce.” Alfred made his presence known and shared the smile with the younger man.

 

“They do Alfred, They do.” His reply was both sad and proud to the faithful butler as he took the mug of coffee from his hand.

 

Alfred had left, his work was done both as Batman and Bruce, there wasn't much more for him to do for the rest of whole day, he couldn't sleep and he had resisted an urge for so long now. _It’s only for safety_ He thought _But checking on them is making sure they are safe_ He pondered _Screw this!_ He turned the screen back on and typed some commands on it.

 

 _“Tracking camera-bugs activated.”_ The computer stated as the screen showed the names of five bat affiliated heroes.

 

Nightwing was the first name he clicked and a video started off with a light kick on the door of Dick’s apartment, the guy was trying to move somethings into the living room and was holding three boxes using his foot to make space he thanked an old lady whom handed him some keys and went out to meet up with Wally, at a coffee shop they chatted and Bruce decide to give them ‘privacy’ and see what the other ones where up to.

 

He wasn't surprised to turn Jason's bug on and find that he and Tim were working together on a case and discussing in a high level of knowledge about the tactics to take down a net of assassins who worked for various gangs and criminal families all over the world _Those are my boys!_ They were probably at one of Jason's bases by the way he comfortably moved around while Tim was still getting used to the computers and also there were burgers and chili dogs’ packages everywhere. He chuckled proudly watching the scene.

 

Cass was in Hong Kong as expected, her eyes focussing on the mirror in front of her like her life depended on her next moves, she smiled and threw one leg up as the first note of a piano was played. He watched his daughter gracefully move around the dance room bowing at the end and clapping hands were heard [translated] _“Great Cassandra! Now girls, let's do the stretching before we move on to the next moves.”_ [translated] An older woman walked from the piano and stood in front of the line of girls while Cass took her spot. The smile on his face was undeniable. _Three down, one_ _more to go._

 

He was a little confused when he saw his youngest in the woods walking with his Titan teammate Raven, both wearing civilian clothes. It was the grove near the Titans Tower, Bruce just assumed that they could be in an undercover mission, but his guts were telling him otherwise. They walked together for a few minutes and stopped in a small circular glade between the trees she took his hand shyly and they sat down at the roots of a big oak tree.

 

 _“So… You are very tense… I… I can feel it.”_ Raven broke the silence.

 

 _“You do seem to be very apprehensive as well.”_  Damian said trying not to look into her eyes. _“You are a beauteous girl,”_ Bruce could see through the computer how nervous his son was. _“I enjoy spending time with you Raven.”_ They were still holding hands when she answered pressing her lips against his and they both went red like fresh tomatoes.

 

Bruce gulped down, he knew he should give his son privacy but he couldn't take his eyes off of the screen, the realization of what was happening hit him like sledgehammer his son his _baby son_ was growing up, he thought about how quiet and calm the Manor or the Cave had been lately, _All of them? All of my birds?_ He turned his focus back on the scene playing in front of him, a smile on both of the teenagers’ faces as they looked to each other, smashing the grass beneath them and then kissing once more.

 

 _“I don't think I'll ever get used to this.”_ Raven said with a soft bite on her low lip.

 

 _“It is still unfamiliar to me too.”_ Damian adjusted to lean on the tree. _“I really like everytime we come here.”_ He said to her.

 

“What?! Has it happened before?” The man asked loudly to himself, _you haven't even turned fourteen yet…_ He thought holding tight to his mug and looking down at it and remembering his youngest son's birthday was coming in less than a month. _I wasn't there for you last year Damian, but I will make it up to you, I…_

 

His thoughts were interrupted by a giggle and he looked back up to see the kids standing and Damian holding Raven by the waist with one hand while tangling the other into her hair, she rested both arms on his shoulder as if she was going to cling to his neck but not quite. The next frame horrified Bruce, his son turned the girl around so she was against the tree, his movements were clearly not as steady and excellent as they would be in a fight displaying the boy’s lack of experience, although they certainly did not look like the shy couple from a few minutes ago. It was when Damian started to run a hand under Raven’s black tank top, going through the low back of the girl’s excessive pale skin, that he decided it was way too soon, he took his personal phone and called the boy right away. The sound of the phone startled the teens and they both stared at his pocket and he took it out with a scowl.

 

 _“It's father.”_ He simply stated letting the phone ring.

 

Bruce got up and pushed anxiously against the desk staring at the screen.

 

 _“You should take it.”_ The girl said. _“I mean... it might be important.”_ She completed.

 

 _“Yes father…”_ He answered the phone scowling one more time.

 

“Damian we need to talk.” He didn't mean to sound harsh or rushed, but it came out as so.

 

 _“Is everything well father?”_ Damian's face hardened confused. _“Why am I hearing my own voice?”_ He asked.

 

“There must be a problem with the line.” Bruce answered in a quick motion to mute the video. “Everything is alright, but we need to talk son.” This time he managed to soften his voice.

 

 _“Fine, what is it about?”_ On the screen the boy rolled his eyes obviously annoyed by the interruption.

 

“I don't think we should have this conversation over the phone.” He declared. “You are coming home for the weekend, right?” He asked knowing the boy had other plans, since it was summer and he was spending most of his time with the Titans. “It's Friday, you must be on your way soon.” The man dropped his tone to a commanding one.

 

_“Father I-"_

 

“I expect you home for dinner tonight.” He interrupted the boy who clenched his fists in pure irritation.

 

 _“Yes father.”_ A dry angry reply and he hung up, throwing his phone at a tree nearby.

 

 _Why can't things be easy with you just once son?_ He asked himself sighing and glancing at his son one last time before shutting the computer off. It wasn't even 10:00 am in Gotham and now he felt tired, he stretched himself and went upstairs to his room. Once rested he would formulate a plan for the latter conversation he was to have with Damian, there was still some parenting to do left, he wouldn't waste it out.

 

Bruce woke up a few hours later with Alfred bringing him a late lunch, he ate it in his room silently thinking about how he should approach Damian in the matters to come to discussion. He had some experience by now, but the boy wasn’t like Dick who was all reckless and knew pretty much nothing when they had that conversation and he was also unlike Jason that had a twisted dirty concept of how things worked, Tim was the easiest, he surprised Bruce with the question and they had a brief talk about it since it had been involved on a case. The man was sure Damian was going to try to push him out, making remarks about how he knew everything related to human biology and anatomy. _Still, thirteen is just thirteen…_ It was going to be difficult maybe embarrassing, but there are somethings that no book could teach and the age does make a difference on the understanding of life, no matter who you are or what you were trained for. By the time he finished planning the tray of empty dishes was long gone, he looked around his very own room and remembered the first time he realized he was feeling something for Selina, she had snuck in that room one night and the next thing he knew they were kissing on the rooftop, Alfred had sat him down in the kitchen and scolded him before he was lectured on the ‘bees and birds’.

 

A knock on the door took him away from the memories, another few hours had already passed, Alfred came in with a warm smile on his face. “Young Master Damian has arrived Sir.” The butler announced. “Oh… and dinner will be ready soon, I advise you to leave your gathering for afterwards Master Bruce.”

 

“Sure Alfred, thank you.” He said and the older man bowed before exiting the room.

 

Even though it was just he and Damian, he cared to change from his robe into his trousers and turtleneck black top. He knew he still had a few minutes but decided to head over to dinner anyways. What he didn’t expect was his son to have the same idea, when walking down the hall he was raising his hand to greet the boy who was stepping out of his room, but as soon as he caught sight of the man he slammed the door and marched downstairs. _Here we go again… Teenagers…_ Damian was already a hard child to get through, as a teen Bruce could just sigh at the sole imagination of how difficult he would be. He followed him down to the dining room giving him just enough space to for his stomping around.

 

Dinner was yet to be served when they both sat down. “You said you wanted to talk _at_ me.” Damian sullenly reminded him. “-tt”

 

“Damian I want to talk _to_ you not _at_ you.” Bruce ignored the boy’s attitude. “But I am sure we can wait till after dinner.”

 

Alfred cleared his throat making his presence known and then placed a plate in front of each of them. Damian chose to remain silent yet making sure to drop his fork with extra force on the plate. Bruce on the other hand would not be dragged into it.

 

“How was your week son?” He asked casually. “Anything interesting?”

 

Damian grumped, “just regular missions, nothing unusual.” He replied an the man raised the eyebrows just a little to his son. “It is all in the reports at the Titans database.” He completed as if answering another question.

 

“Good, that's good.” Bruce complimented putting a fork in his mouth. “So…” he finished chewing, “you did have plenty of spare time.”

 

“Training” His expression going from annoyed to confused then back to annoyed. “With the team…” a gulp of his ice tea “And Jon.”

 

“Alright,” he smiled at Damian who widened his eyes a little at the sight.

 

“I am done.” He stared at his clean plate. “I'd like to be excused.” Then he looked at him.

 

“Alright,” he said again. “Go wait for me in the study, I'll be there shortly.”

 

“Yes father.” Damian exited the room.

 

It took him several minutes to actually finish his meal and head up to where his son awaited him. Now at the half open door of his own study he paused considering his next steps, Damian was sitting at one of the chairs in front of his desk, he could sense the tension emanating from him, his tries to ease the boy at dinner didn't work at all. He regained himself, entered the room and walked over to the leather couch, he sat down and Damian popped his head quizzically on the side of backboard of the chair.

 

“Come here son.” Bruce mildly ordered and  patted the spot next to him, the teen did as told. “So… Is there anything you want to share with me?” He asked resting an elbow on back of the couch and leaned the head on his hand.

 

“What are you doing father?” Damian scowled. “Why do you want to know what 'interesting things’ I have been doing?”

 

“Oh…” The man straightened up again. “I think it might be good for our relationship son.” He said sincerely.

 

“Yeah, of course.” He rolled his eyes letting his voice sound sassy.

 

Bruce decided to get to the point already. “Well, I’ve heard you and Raven are quite close friends.” Damian instantly blushed and squeaked unwillingly.

 

“She is a…” He tried to reset himself. “very important member to the team.” His son said looking down still blushing. “Her abilities are useful and-” he stopped.

 

“You know son, when I was about your age, I met a really nice and pretty girl,” He kept the casual tone searching for Damian's eyes. “I liked being around her, hanging out with her and she enjoyed my company too-”

 

“Selina is not nice.” Damian interrupted his father. “She is pretty though.” He bothered to try not insulting his fiance.

 

“She is a nice person, you just got to know her a little better.” He told observing his son’s will to get into some other subject. “But that's not the point.” He adjusted a pillow behind him. “The point is I know how it is really good being with somebody you like and that person likes you back.”

 

“We don't…” Damian looked to the side again. “We are not like this and you should not involve yourself in matters that have nothing to do with you father.” He angrily turned back to the man.

 

“Really?” Bruce teased raising an eyebrow. “Then why is it that you're flushing whenever her name is mentioned?” The boy gritted his teeth in response. “Damian it is totally normal to feel this way and at your age is certainly not strange that you are going to get not only emotionally but also physically attracted to-”

 

“I’m not attracted to Raven!” Damian pronounced loudly. “And we are not…” he paused and changed his words. “Father I already know everything I need to know about physiology.”

 

“I'm well aware of that son.” Bruce said.

 

“Then I must leave.” The teen stood up.

 

“Not yet Damian.” He motioned for the boy to sit again. “I don't think knowing about anatomy, biology or physiology is enough for understanding the process of growing up and being mature in the choices you are going to have to make while in a love life.” He noticed his son was still standing so he got up. “Of course I think it's still early for you to start thinking about love relationships, but I know your hormones are starting to kick in and you might start to get interested in girls…” At this point Damian was leaning against one arm of the sofa with crossed arms over his chest while Bruce paced in front of him. “What you need to know son,” he paused not too close but close enough and looked into his son’s eyes “is that love is not something to be taken lightly, it's special and you got to make sense of things before you jump up over any girl because you could either hurt yourself or the other person.”

 

“Must not use you as an example then.” The remark was tempered on his half smirking lips.

 

“Definitely not.” Bruce chuckled bittersweet. “I've made a lot of mistakes son, I don't want you to repeat them and again I don't want you to get hurt.” He put a hand on his shoulder.

 

“I am fine.” The teen said not moving the man’s hand away.

 

Everything went as good as expected while Bruce talked about hearts and love and how Damian should treat girls right and the boy responding both with nods or some sour snaps that didn't really hurt Bruce's feelings. Well that was only until they got to another important part of the discussion which made Damian want to bury himself in whatever hole he could find for not realizing how his father moved to the actual physical matter. Bruce had no trouble with explaining the men's and women's body features and how things worked, how he _should not_ do that now because he was too young and also all the diseases related to it that his son must be careful of.

 

“This is totally embarrassing.” Damian muttered under his breath and suddenly looked to his father as if it wasn't meant to be said out loud.

 

“I get this isn't a picnic for you son.” He sighed more of gratitude and relief that the teen didn't walk out stomping his feet already. “But I rather know that you learned it from me and learned it right than to go misguided by someone else or not having any information at all.”

 

“I assure you father that I already know everything I need to know about… intercourse.” The boy was really red but sounded confident nonetheless.

 

“You mean sexual intercourse?” Bruce stared at him raising an eyebrow and the teen nodded looking away. “Well then you wouldn't mind explaining to me how to put a condom on, not that you will be doing it anytime soon, right?” Damian gulped, eyes wide in something between terror, disbelief and embarrassment.

 

“I… Hmm… I…” He reset himself and continued. “This is stupid!” He said loudly. “You said it yourself, I won't be needing it.”

 

“I said you wouldn't be needing it _soon_ , but you will certainly be needing them later and they are mandatory.” He declared getting very close to his son. “You never have any kind of physical intercourse with somebody without wearing a condom, is that clear?” The boy nodded viciously at the seriousness of his voice.

 

Minutes later he had Alfred to get him a banana and watched Damian bury himself on the couch covering his head with the square pillows. It took a long time to get him out of there and actually get the boy to pay attention at his demonstration on how to properly use a condom. He was barely done when Damian rushed to ask if he was done and storm out the study looking like he was either going to throw up or drown himself in the closest toilet.

 

“Master Bruce,” Alfred came by a moment after “how did it go sir?”

 

“Better than expected Alfred.” He said smirking to the elder.

 

“Good thing, I suppose.” Bruce nodded and they both exited the room.

 

He headed down to the cave and he wasn't surprised to find out that Robin didn't want to go on patrol at all, it was alright he still had a few years to enjoy with his youngest.

**Author's Note:**

> I do hope you enjoyed this and please review. =)


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